Cat Bar

Not So Simple

There is something magical about the perfect New York night.

At first I didn’t see it. This is true for most who look at life through a narrow microscope. Growing up in the Midwest everything was broken down into normal. My normal life was going to be chasing the perfect position, received not less than a month out of college, with the most beautiful man who treated me like an angel. I worked my ass off in college towards this end goal. Three months later and my life is completely flipped from the perfect perspective I thought I deserved.

The funny thing about “thinking you deserve” something is that it never ends up close to what you expect. I am currently single, bartending, and interviewing a minimum of three days a week. The city is like a sweaty, humid, sticky, dirty place. But then it is also beautiful, eccentric, intriguing, challenging, and full of opportunity. Full of a million different high and lows that most of the time make no sense. The beauty in the city is something that is found in the Not So Simple moments.

I would never change a thing.

I love the journey. But I am so sick of feeling like I am supposed to deserve something so much more normal. I chose this not so simple journey and yet I struggle every day to accept that.

Today I was walking home from meeting some coworkers for a few beers. I don’t know if it was the buzz or the fact the humidity finally chilled down for two seconds but everything was brought to light like never before. A child was running like a bird in his jacket, a woman was on the phone talking about how to get her coworker out of jail (no joke), couples were stuffing their faces with large New York style slices. Nothing was simple. But it was perfect anyways. The perfect New York Night.

Stay Real. XO.

What am I wearing? Zara Dress, Similar shoes







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